Dearest Darling,
Of course I had to post a photo of Angelina Jolie because she's been my idol since oh...I dunno, maybe age 14, and she's the biggest bad ass babe I know. Of all the posters of celebs on my young adult bedroom walls, hers took up the most space. I still have the binder full of clipped out magazine photos and quotes. A little crazy? Maybe, but I don't care. I don't care what people say about her skinny legs or movie roles or strange past - she has always personified strength and bravery and honesty to me. She has never been afraid to just be who she is, no apologies.
That's epic self-love in my book. So how else can we be bad ass self-love warrior goddesses like Angelina or (insert your favorite person)? A few ideas:
get up, stand up
Stand up for what you believe in.
Look, I don't know about you, but I'm non-confrontational and I don't like hurting people's feelings. If someone expresses an opinion I don't agree with, I usually stay quiet or just nod my head and smile. I let them have their opinions/beliefs without standing up for mine because honestly, it feels like too much work to try and talk about where I'm coming from.
The truth is, it's not always okay to stay quiet, especially when people think they can step all over you because you won't say anything.
When it comes to women's equality/rights, I don't stay quiet. When it comes to mental illness, I don't stay quiet. There are certain beliefs and opinions I refuse to lock in a box and put in the closet. It's a #sorrynotsorry kind of thing.
What are the things you refuse to stay quiet about? Speak up, darling. Don't let people walk all over you.
be direct
When it comes to getting what you want, you must speak up.
I'm not talking about getting all up in someone's face or using your concert voice. I'm simply saying you must be direct when asking for what you want and need.
I'll admit, I'm still working on this one. My husband is quite keen in decoding my questions, but has told me numerous times, "Just tell me what you want, straight up." There's no need to do a little dance around the fact that I'd rather go to this restaurant over that one or that I'd really like to spend the day with only him, sans friends. A request as small as turning on the fan can get mired in ambiguity.
Me: Are you hot?
Him: No, I'm okay.
Me: It's kind of hot in here.
Him: Do you want me to turn on the fan?
Me: Yes, please!
A more simple approach:
Me: Will you turn on the fan?
Or:
Me: Please turn on the fan; it's hot in here.
Do you do this kind of thing too? Let's make it a goal to be more direct. I think we'll get more of what we need much faster.
get away
Bad-ass babes need adventures. Whether it's on your own or with others, take some time to get away. Shut down the computer and stop looking at your phone. Explore your city, do something you've never done before, go on a weekend road trip. Roll down the car windows, let the wind pull your hair, blast your favorite song. Take photos of everything around you, but don't forget to see your world without the screen. Sit by a creek. Spend all day in the library with your favorite book. Drive with no destination and see where it takes you. Say hello to a stranger.
do something scary
Even tiny, scary things can build confidence and give you that I-can-do-anything motivation. For me, that means going just a little bit further into the ocean, flying internationally on my own, and speaking to new people on the phone.
Your scary thing doesn't have to involve jumping out of a plane, unless you want it to. Just pick one thing that you know you can do, but haven't done yet because of fear. Then do it and see how you feel. Does it make you want to conquer the world? I bet it will.
work it out
Even people with amazing genes who can eat whatever they want need to workout. Our bodies love to move, crave it! We're not meant to sit around all day. We need to loosen up the muscle, work the heart, sweat a little. If you can only do five minutes a day, so be it. If you're at a desk most hours, take a break every 20-30 minutes to stretch. Get the fuzz out. Move those bones. Not because you want to lose weight or build muscle or any of that stuff, but because you are human and human bodies need that kind of love.
And dearest one, keep this in mind...
being a bad-ass babe doesn't mean you're a bitch or that you take things for granted or that you trample over people to get what you want. It means you know what you want, you take action, and you take care of yourself. So go forth and be a bad ass!
