In a patriarchal society, men aren't always the problem.

Sure, it's easy to blame them for things like standards of beauty, feelings of sexual shame, and harassment, but the truth is, girls make it hard for girls too. Girls harass other girls; girls call other girls sluts and bitches; girls say mean things behind another girl's back because she's wearing the wrong thing. 

It's sad to see and experience girl-on-girl hate. There's always talk about bonding together, girl power, supporting other women, but then something happens.

​It's called comparison or envy or jealousy or inferiority. It's called not giving a damn because supporting that other woman might cut into your time.

A woman walks into the room and she's beautiful. Another woman looking at her might think She knows she's beautiful, no reason to make her head even bigger. But what if she doesn't know? What if she's freaking out about her cellulite or her wrinkles or beating herself up because someone called her stupid?

Throughout my life I've found that the girls I thought were pretty, stuck up bitches were actually nice and humble and had the same insecurities as I had. Those girls like hearing, "You're looking gorgeous today," just as much as the next person. Everyone likes hearing positive things about herself. 

I've never met anyone, and especially not another woman, who went throughout her day thinking, I am so beautiful and have it going on. Everything is perfect in my life. 

Here's the thing - every woman has her own insecurities and problems. Just because we can't see them on the outside doesn't mean a storm isn't brewing on the inside. It doesn't mean we can't be helpful, supportive, and there for each other. You never know what someone is going through. You never know that woman's story...unless you ask, get to know her, offer your support.

Instead of insulting a woman behind her back, why don't we compliment her outfit (and mean it)? 

Instead of writing a woman off because we think she's (insert adjective here), why don't we get to know her?

Instead of feeling jealous that a beautiful woman is talking to our significant other, why don't we join the conversation?

Story time:

There was this time I went to a women's get together and had one too many to drink. I didn't have a car and my husband was out of town, so I couldn't call him to come pick me up and my regular ride outside of my husband was unavailable.  At that point, I was just drunk enough to feel a bit confused at how to get home. Keep in mind that to get home required me to take a short boat trip to the other side of the pier. But I didn't know where to find the boat and I didn't want to stumble around in the dark trying to find where I needed to be.

I turned to two women who had been at the get together and asked if they could help. They just kind of shrugged and brushed me off.

In the end, a man who was staying near one of the lady's, escorted me to the boat and saw that I got across the bay safely. Then another man (this one I knew), called a ride for me and made sure the driver knew where I lived. 

I could not believe the lack of support I had from the other women. I thought to myself, if I had been on the other side of that situation, I would have definitely helped that girl out. And especially if the area was new to her and she didn't know anyone/it was dark/she was drunk. That just makes sense, right?!  

Whenever I'm around a lone woman or someone who is new to the scene, I welcome her. I say something nice. I treat her like a human being instead of competition or a hassle. There is no competition. There's no reason to be jealous. There's no reason to treat someone like she's an annoyance and send her to the dark woods to find her way.

This isn't just about my experiences. I see girl-on-girl hate all the time and almost everywhere. I see it with strangers and with my friends. I see it on the internet and in public places. It happens to us all and I'm sure we've been on both sides - girl hating and being hated. 

No more.

When you see a woman in need, help her.

When other women talk bad behind someone's back, ask yourself why.

Compliment a woman.

Get to know her story before you judge. 

If we're going to be all the man keeps us down and we have to stick together​, but then turn around and do the exact opposite, then we can't expect change.

​Stand with, not against.

I don't know why I was obsessed with The Lion King when I was a kid. I think it had to do with the fact that Jonathan Taylor Thomas was the voice of Simba and I was smitten with JTT (were you too?). 

I watched the movie a thousand times, wore Lion King shirts, and had the soundtrack on a loop. I annoyed my friends by singing Lion King songs during slumber parties. 

So you can imagine how thrilled I was to learn that, in the astrological world, I was a Leo. 

I remember that afternoon, my mother reading the newspaper and flipping to the horoscope section. "What's my sign?" I asked and when she said Leo, the lion, the ruler of the skies, I nearly fainted. 

And the mighty lion has roared throughout my life. My maiden name, and the one I write under is Key, but my married name is Lyons. 

And I am very much a Leo. A bit of a drama queen, likes to be in the spotlight, takes the lead when no one else steps up for the role. I can be loyal, but stubborn, courageous, but as weak as a kitten sometimes. 

Leo season is upon us, until August 22 to be exact. Now is the time to shine, grow a spine, get flashy. It's time to put on your disco shoes and your sequin dress and join Leo's light on the dance floor. Take her by the hands, shimmy, shake, celebrate. 

Celebrate you. Yes, dear one, Leo season is not only about falling in love with yourself, but allowing yourself to expose who you really are. This isn't a costume party, so take off the mask and lift your beautiful face to the light. 

Even if you're the only one dancing, it's okay. 

I'll have to remind myself of this come Wednesday, as I am actually going to a club in a new town with new friends. Even though I'm a Leo, I'm a Scorpio rising with an Aquarius moon, so I tend to sneak into the shadows when dealing with change and all things new. 

But the Leo in me wants to dance and take up space, even if the floor is empty.

​I looove what The Numinous has to say about Leo season:

My tarot card for August is The Chariot, which couldn't fit more perfectly with Leo season. Put the power of these two together and August will be explosive! Keywords for The Chariot are determination, confidence, willpower, strength. 

Biddy Tarot explains it like this:

Leo season in a tarot card! 

Let Leo's sun shine down on you. Let it fill your lungs and your heart and your soul. Let your spine be like a sunflower growing towards the summer sky. Open that throat chakra and roar. Assert yourself, be bold, and live in the moment. Feel all your cells buzzing. Shake the stars from your hair. 

​Happy Leo season!

Society likes to put us in boxes. It likes to write our stories for us and pave paths we're expected to walk on. 

We used to walk barefoot through the grass. We climbed trees and sang and spun in circles. We didn't care who was watching. 

We left our hair unbrushed and swam in the rivers and let our minds expand with possibility.

We didn't know about the paths or the stories or the boxes, and if we did, we thought we'd ignore them and make our own way.

But then we stopped doing those things we did before. We packed our Wild into the boxes and handed over the pen. We put on shoes and walked the path.

And maybe the path wasn't so bad; it was smooth and easy and we could still see the trees. But we didn't climb them. We forgot about the boxes with the wild things in them. We forgot who we were.

we are wild
and magical
and spinning within the universe
we are dust
and water
and expanding with dreams
wild wolf woman
wild butterfly woman
wild every woman 

We are breaking the chains. We are climbing out of the cages and smashing through the walls. We are opening those boxes because Wild is nature and nature does its thing without apology. 

You, me, we
It's time to wear our Wild again.

Find that box you stashed and unpack it. Here's what you might find:

The beauty, the magic, the fun in the "ordinary."
See with your wild child eyes. 

Permission to dance like no one's watching. 
Because they probably aren't, and even if they are, who cares? Let your body dive into the music.

Connection to the present.
What does it feel like to be alive in this moment? What changes when you're aware and mindful?

Permission to feel.
Let your emotions pour over. Let yourself be sad and happy, angry and content, moody and motivated. Feel, feel, feel, then move on.

Connection to yourself.
Be aware of your body. Listen to what it's telling you.

Your desires.
You may have packed them up tight. Unwrap them gently, look them over. Let them into your life.

Bravery.
Take a chance. Step off the path and climb into that tree. If you fall, it's okay. Cry if you need to. Heal. Then get back up and start walking.

​Who you want to be.
I am this and I am that. I am fat/emotionally unstable/broke/boring/stupid/unworthy/fearful. Let go of who you think you are so you can become who you want to be. 

​Confidence. 
Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Do your thing. Embrace your Wild.

Your Wild is waiting. Do you hear it? It's shuffling around in that box, waiting for you to crawl outside the cage, waiting for you to step into the dirt and pave a new path - one that's perfect for you. 

Wild thing, you make my heart sing. :)