I lost my ability to write fiction many moons ago. I stopped practicing. I stopped filling notebooks with crazy stories and built a wall made of "that's not good enough" and "that doesn't make sense." When I was young and sitting in class with my head down in a spiral notebook, I didn't care about making sense. I just wrote the stories. 

Now I hammer out blog posts and magazine articles, and although there is creativity in that, it's different. There are no characters to grow with, no plot to unfold. 

Even my journal entries feel stiff.

My big dream is to write a work of fiction, but anytime I start a story it dies a premature death. Plot is my villain. I've got all the colorful characters you could want, but there's no story. The people are just hanging around waiting for me to give them something to do.

Another thing is that I want whatever story I write to not only take the readers on a journey, but me as well. I've had trouble coming up with ideas, themes, plots, characters I can dig deep into. 

This year, I'm making it a goal to get back to fiction writing. Practice, practice, practice. And I can't use the excuse that I have no ideas because I've learned that to find those ideas, I must write. Sometimes finding ideas is like going to a garage sale; you must have patience and dig around a little. Move things around. See what's behind the ugly paintings. You might find a lot of crap, but in all that crap is a gem. There's gotta be!

I bought this book on Kindle called Plot & Structure: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting a Plot that Grips Readers from Start to Finish by James Scott Bell. Because like I said, plot is haaaard for me. In chapter 3 he writes about coming up with plot ideas and how a writer must start with herself. "All writers should periodically take a look inside themselves," he says. Then he lists 12 questions to help "...open up a door into your own soul. From that viewpoint, you can better evaluate plot ideas."

I've just spent some time answering these questions and I can say that, whether you're planning on writing a story or not, they'll help you discover who you are underneath all those layers. 

I agree that we must take a look inside every now and then. It's where all the good stuff is. Interested in doing the same? Here are the questions:

1. What do you care most about in this world?
   
2. If you were to write your own obituary, how would you want it to read?
   
3. What is your physical appearance? How do you feel about it? How does it affect you?
   
4. What do you fear most?
   
5. What are your major strengths of character?
   
6. What are your major flaws?
   
7. What are you good at? What do you wish you were good at?
   
8. If you could do one thing and know that you would be successful, what would you do?
   
9. What are three events from your childhood that helped shape you into the person you are today?
   
10. What are some of your annoying habits?
    
11. What secret in your life do you hope is never revealed?
    
12. What is your philosophy of life?
    

Has spring fever hit you yet?

We've had several days of grey skies, muddy, rain-soaked roads and cooler temps, so today's sunny blue disposition is a welcome change. 

Although Philippines' seasons mostly consist of varying degrees of summer, I still like honoring the four seasons. One way to do that is by building an altar. 

Ostara/Spring Equinox is March 20 this year. It's a time for new beginnings. We've hibernated inside our souls, took a good look around, maybe did some healing work during the dark, winter days. Now it's time to push up through the dirt, set intentions, and bloom!

When it comes to color schemes and what items you should place on the altar, look outside for inspiration. What flowers are blooming? What colors are popping up? What represents spring?

Cover your altar space with a cloth, scarf, or sarong in your chosen color. Pastels, pinks, greens, lemon yellow, and white are all beautiful choices.

Think seasonal elements and balance them using gifts from nature.

Represent Earth with greenery and flowers (daffodils and tulips are a good choice). Gather them on a walk or from your garden. Silk flowers work too. You can even place a new plant or seedling on your altar to signify birth and new beginnings.

Represent water with spring or distilled water in a chalice. I might also add a few shells.

Represent air and fire with a smudging herb in a heat-proof pot or incense and candles. Herbs and scents to try: jasmine, rose, sage, strawberry.

Crystals are another beautiful element to add to a spring altar, especially if you plan on setting intentions and meditating at the altar. Crystals to consider:

Green Aventurine: prosperity; promotes compassion; encourages perseverance; promotes well-being
Dendritic Agate: brings fullness and abundance to all areas of life; creates a peaceful environment and encourages enjoying each moment; deepens connection to the earth
Chrysoprase: opens, activates, and energizes the heart; balances energy; promotes hope and love of truth
Carnelian: restores vitality and motivation; stimulates creativity; promotes positive life choices
Labradorite: aids in transformation and gives strength through times of change; banishes fear and insecurities

So build a colorful altar with me and welcome spring in all her glory? If you do, snap a photo and send it my way. I'd love to see!

The Ace brings birth, potential, and the gift of grace. It’s energy is like that of a new moon or a butterfly emerging on a spring day. The seed of possibility is in your hands now. No longer are you wrapped up in a cocoon, waiting for the moment to begin something new. You’re blossoming with new ideas and thoughts - let them take flight! If you find yourself hesitant about a metamorphosis and would rather stay snuggled in your chrysalis, remember that now is your time and there’s nothing to be afraid of. Find within yourself the strength to use your wings.

Affirmation: I am blossoming with new ideas.

Action: Is there something you want to change? A transformation that needs to happen or something you want to bring to life? Check in with your intuition, especially if your mind and heart are at odds. Take a few moments to meditate and journal your thoughts. What is emerging and blossoming? Follow your heart.

A life lesson is at play here. Negative thoughts and worries might keep you up at night, clouding your trust in yourself. Whatever challenge comes your way this month, know that you have the wisdom and strength to survive it. Life lessons are often unexpected and uncomfortable, but they can lead to personal and spiritual growth.

Affirmation: I have the skills it takes to survive any crisis.

Action: Create a sacred, safe space to go to when negative thoughts arise and challenges come your way. Light a candle, say a prayer, do whatever calms your soul and helps you move through the conflict.

Spirit is calling you to open your heart and live in a more meaningful way. There is sacred space around you now and a community that supports you. You have everything you need to make magic happen. Listen to Spirit, reach out to those around you, heal and be healed. If you find yourself resistant to this awakening and your duty to serve, remember the quote by Anais Nin: “The day may come when the risk to remain tight in a bud is more painful that the risk it takes to blossom.”

Affirmation: I awaken to the call of the Spirit.

Action: Practice mindfulness for a full day. Use your senses to relish each moment. Slow down when you eat, smell and taste the food, notice the sounds around you, notice how things feel and look. Keep your mind in the here and now. How does it alter your day?

Celebrate yourself this month. Afterall, it is the month of l-o-v-e. Right now, your energy is rising with others to create magic, healing, and transformation. Play your own music, dance your own dance, and let the energy from your unique contributions fuel those around you.

Affirmation: I celebrate myself and my tribe.

Action: Embrace self-love. How can you show yourself more love this month? Maybe write yourself a love letter, treat yourself to fresh flowers, and list five things you truly dig about yourself.

The Elder of Earth reminds you that there is much wisdom and pleasure in a simple life and urges you to grow your relationship with the land, family, friends, and your community. Put aside wants for luxury possessions and the need for approval. Your wealth and what you own does not prove your worth. This Elder shows you the contentment of recognizing what comprises true value and worth.

Affirmation: I spin a prosperous and abundant life for myself and those I love.

Action: Everything you own was once something you wanted. Take stock of your possessions. Learn to love what you have. Make a gratitude list each day of five things you are truly thankful for.

Can you tell these little otters are having the best time of their lives? They’re carefree, happy, maybe even a little mischievous. That’s you this month! It’s your time to shine, to share love and joy. You’re feeling full of abundance and happiness and want to have fun. Gather your friends and family and have fun together! Your happiness is contagious, so the more you give the more joy grows.

Affirmation: I find joy in the company of others.

Action: Pick a day to gather a group of friends and do something fun together.

You’re feeling tender-hearted and dreamy. You might get lost in your imagination this month or find yourself attracted to a new spiritual path or way of thinking. Go with it and embrace your emotions, dreams, and imagination. If you find yourself disappointed by a lost dream, seek someone to talk to and move into a place of healing. Doing so will make way for new dreams.

Affirmation: I imagine a life filled with love, art, and spirituality.

Action: Get artsy with your emotions. Dance when you feel moved to, paint, or write a poem.

This is a time for making decisions and experiencing communion with Spirit. These decisions will likely have to do with what you can offer the world and how you can be an instrument of peace. Keep Frederick Buechner’s words in mind: “Vocation is the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.” Worship, praise, meditate, and you’ll be guided. The Elder of Air offers you the gift of inspiration, balance, and clarity. Use them wisely.

Affirmation: I am a song of peace and healing for the world.

Action: Music can help us access deep wisdom. Go to your sacred space, put on whatever song stirs your heart at the moment, and soak it in. What insights come to you?

Like the man in the illustration, it’s time to seek solitude and replenish your life-force. Now’s a good time to start or continue a meditation practice. It will help you continue to feel confident and at peace with yourself. Right now, your personal power is radiant, and you’re able to handle anything that comes your way with calm equanimity.

Affirmation: I am a being of light and fire, as well as flesh and bone.

Action: Go into meditation and feel your inner fire rise from earth to heaven. See yourself as a being of light as well as a being of flesh, blood, and bone.

This Guardian brings clarity to every situation, giving you the ability to see straight through to the core of things. Cut away everything that’s extraneous until you get to the truth of a matter. Now is not the time to shrink from making hard decisions. Be bold and speak your truth.

Affirmation: I declare my own truth with candor and clarity.

Action: What’s becoming crystal clear to you about your life? Take a moment to journal about it.

There’s a fire burning inside you and you’re tempted to let it out by venting your rage. You may feel short-tempered and easily set off, not mindful of who might get burned. This rage and anger might be a mask for what you fear. What’s causing you to harden? What’s bringing up feelings of resentment and fear? You have the choice to let your circumstances soften you and make you kinder.

Affirmation: I courageously face my fears.

Action: Be careful about burning bridges you might need to walk over later. If you feel the fire rising inside you, take a moment to yourself. Breathe. How can you transform this anger or fear? Choose love.

You’re being called to transform your vision into reality with help from your friends. Sure, you might feel like you can get the job done yourself, but there is great reward when you co-create. Give attention to your friends’ ideas. “Never doubt the ability of a small group of concerned citizens to change the world.” -Margaret Mead

Affirmation: We see it, so be it!

Action: Gather a circle of friends to share ideas about a project.