To tell you the truth, I didn't have anything planned to write this week. I've been in a bit of a haze (is it dreamy Pisces?). On Tuesday I went to the gym and either worked myself too hard or dehydrated myself or both. I woke up Wednesday feeling completely blah - that hungover feeling - but had a Nia session scheduled and a wedding to attend.

I didn't cancel Nia, but danced at about a level 1 and felt okay, but after lunch just curled up in bed and watched t.v. I also went to the wedding, but was hovering in that place between throwing up and passing out. I did get a few pictures though.

I don't know the bride or the groom, but know the bride's brother who invited my boyfriend and me and I thought it'd be pretty cool to attend my first Filipino wedding. The groom (the tall white guy on the right) is wearing a traditional top.

As you can see, everything is super colorful and bright. That's how it is on the island :)

I wish I could've gotten more pictures, but the area was pretty packed and I wasn't up to standing around and snapping photos. 

I'm feeling better today, but that haze is still lingering. Think I'm going to get a bit of work done then do some reading. Hope you're all well and have a great week!

I first read a Francesca Lia Block book when I was 16 - I think it was I Was a Teenage Fairy. I can't remember how I heard of her; maybe I was browsing through library books and stumbled upon the dark blue cover with the sparkling fairy on the cover. Or maybe it was an online discovery. Whatever the case, after I read the first book all the others made their way into my life, filled my bookshelves, opened up something inside me. 

I never wrote poetry until I read Francesca. I had a little blue book with blank pages that a family friend gave me. I didn't know what to do with it until I read Francesca's books. I turned to the first page and wrote Sister Magic, the second page Magic Cat, the third and fourth and fifth...

Needless to say, this author has played an integral part in my life and continues to do so.

Which is why I'm dedicating this post to one of her iconic books - Weetzie Bat - and what it's taught me about life. 

Where You Are Can Be Really Magical

They didn't even realize where they were living. They didn't care that Marilyn's prints were practically in their backyard at Graumann's; that you could buy tomahawks and plastic palm tree wallets at Farmer's Market, and the wildest, cheapest cheese and bean and hot dog and pastrami burritos at Oki Dogs...

I spent my teenage years in small town Texas and went to a school with a population of about 300. I hated it. I hated the school, I hated the town, I hated everything and anything about it. I wanted out of that small town and out of Texas all together. Nobody got it, ya know? Nobody understood anything outside of their bubble of existence. I thought I was imprisoned with a bunch of clones who cared about nothing but football games and cowboy hats.

Weetzie felt the same way, but she was able to see the magic and beauty that surrounded her. She was living in Los Angeles, of course, but I dared myself to do the same. To find some kind of sanity, some kind of beauty exactly where I was. It was hard, but I found it at the park where the river flowed and I swore I saw fairies. I found it in the old oak trees. I found it in my best friend who kept me laughing and from going crazy.

California Is Slinkster Cool

She couldn't leave where it was hot and cool, glam and slam, rich and trashy, devils and angels, Los Angeles.

Francesca describes California in such a way that you can't help but fall in love with it. When I read her descriptions in Weetzie Bat I instantly knew where my heart was, and it's remained there ever since.

The best friend I mentioned above ended up moving to California before our sophomore year in high school. I visited every few years and it was everything I had ever imagined. Some of my best memories are there: Halloween night at a punk club (where I showed up in a pink tube top and body glitter), Disneyland, scoping out surfer boys, getting the cops called on us because we were skating on school property at night, beach days and surf competitions, the palm trees and Hollywood sign and pink smog. I love the beautiful mess that California is. 

It's Okay To Be Your Strange, Beautiful Self

[Weetzie] was a skinny girl with a bleach-blonde flat-top. Under the pink Harlequin sunglasses, strawberry lipstick, earrings dangling charms, and sugar-frosted eye shadow she was really almost beautiful. Sometimes she wore Levi's with white-suede fringe sewn down the legs and a feathered Indian headdress, sometimes old fifties' taffeta dresses covered with poetry written in glitter, or dresses made of kids' sheets printed with pink piglets or Disney characters.

I've always felt a little strange; I never "fit in" in any grade, especially not high school, and I didn't feel like I could truly be myself until I dropped out. Afterward, I put on my knee-high combat boots and bondage pants and strutted around like I owned the world. 

I think we all give power to other people, even as we get older. Validation is a lingering thing, but when you can get to the point where other people's opinions mean little, you can fall in love with your uniqueness. The thing is, there will always be people who don't like you, don't like how you dress, don't like how you smile, but there are even more people who do. But whether people like your new boots or hate your haircut, it's better just to be yourself. And much, much easier.

Love Yourself First

They are in love. But even before they were in love they knew they were going to be happy and in love someday. They trusted. They have always loved themselves.

Positive thinking. Love yourself before you can love another. Yes, Weetzie and her Secret Agent Lover Man were prepared to love each other because they loved themselves first. 

This lesson was a hard one for me. I was 20 before I had a boyfriend and 26 before I allowed myself to love me and my life before getting into another relationship.

It makes a difference. When you accept yourself, love yourself inside and out, revel in your own life/friends/hobbies, a significant other is the cherry on top - not the whole sundae. 

Life Is Magical

I've always had a little sparkle in my eye, but I think Francesca infused my veins with glitter. She's taught me that even darkness has light and tragedy has beauty. Her words are like rose-colored glasses and I go back to them again and again for inspiration in writing and in life. 

Life is magical with all its hidden beauty, poetic souls, love and light and happiness and challenges, creative beings, inspiring books, bean and cheese burritos, and characters like Weetzie Bat who teach us that beauty is everywhere and love resides inside.

Some Kiss We Want

There is some kiss we want with
our whole lives, the touch of

spirit on the body. Seawater
begs the pearl to break its shell.

And the lily, how passionately
it needs some wild darling! At

night, I open the window and ask
the moon to come and press its

face against mine. Breathe into
me. Close the language-door and

open the love window. The moon
won't use the door, only the window.

~Rumi

Things to do with poems...

Write them on a piece of paper. 

Write them on your heart.

Whisper them into your lover's ear.

Serve heart-shaped pancakes and recite them.

Burn candles, spritz rose water, sing the words.

Press them into a book with a flower or a kiss or a love note.

Live them.

I have to give props to my little sis (hi Jerri!) for this blog post idea. She's 25, newly married, and livin' the big city life while moving towards her dreams of being a hair beauitifier. Since she's got it going on and Valentine's Day is right around the corner, I asked her what kind of self-love blog post she'd like to see. The result: a hot date cheat sheet...for yourself! Even if you're in a relationship, you can pencil in some "me time" and take yourself out (or stay in) for some self-lovin.

Set a Date
It's too easy to say you're going to take yourself out, then make excuses. When you set an actual date and write it on your calendar. you're making a commitment. You're saying, I'm worth this and it's going to happen. If you need to, let your partner/mother/kids know what's going on ahead of time so they know what to expect.

Get Dolled Up
You're taking yourself on a date here, so look and feel your best, whatever that means for you. Take a soothing bath with salts and candles. Curl your hair and spritz on perfume. Slip on stilettos or sandals. Doesn't matter, as long as you feel like a million bucks.

Buy Yourself Flowers
It's always nice to receive a little gift here and there from the one's we love, so why not give it to yourself? Show yourself some love with a bunch of daisies, gourmet chocolate, or the book you've been wanting.

Wine and Dine or Casual Night In?
There are sooo many options on what to do and where to take yourself on a date. Art museum, midnight flick, painting class, afternoon at the beach. You could even treat yourself to a resort (bar, pool, massages, room service), book a boudoir photo shoot, or stay in with a bottle of wine and a home-cooked meal. Pick something you've been dying to do or learn or treat yourself to. 

Turn off Your Phone
Does it annoy you when you're out with others and they keep checking their phones? Don't do it to yourself! I know, being alone somewhere can be kind of frightening and awkward if you're not used to it, but you can browse Facebook on your phone/tablet/computer when you're at home. Why bother taking yourself out if you're going to do the same thing you'd do on a typical Monday night? 

If you absolutely must have a distraction, bring a book or a journal. You could even tie it into your date plans by packing a picnic basket, sitting beneath a shade tree, and catching up on your to-read list/getting to know yourself with some deep writing.

The point is to enjoy yourself and the moment, not mindlessly play round after round of Candy Crush.

Forget About "The Others"
The others being all the other people you feel are staring at you and feeling pity because you're alone. Reality check: most people don't have a clue what's going on with you. And if they do, who cares?! As the saying goes, being alone doesn't mean being lonely. Just remember, you're on a hot date with yourself to hang out and enjoy your own company. Besides being a total self-love move, it's nice to get away from it all for awhile and think about you and you only.