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Why Negative Thinking is Self-Love

1/26/2016

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Why Negative Thinking is Self-love

​For manifesters and magic makers, positive thinking is a crucial step in making dreams come true. It's also usually on the bullet list of how to love yourself more. To love yourself you have to think positively. To attract happiness and goodness and all things magical into your life you must think positively. It seems that over and over again we're told that how we think determines what we get in life. And although that's somewhat true, it's not the whole story. 


Once again, it's about allowing what I'm actually feeling, rather than fighting against it. The very act of permitting without judgment is an act of self-love. This act of kindness toward myself goes much further in creating a joyful life than falsely pretending to feel optimistic.
I've been reading Anita Moorjani's book, Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing, and she talks about how always trying to think positively is detrimental to loving ourselves, our whole selves.

We must love our whole selves, without judgment and that means accepting the good and bad thoughts. When we come from a place of "I'm going to attract bad things if I don't think positively," then we're in fear mode and fear mode is what ultimately allows negative experiences into our lives.

It's about how we feel, not how we think. Just because you think something like, this is impossible, I'll never accomplish this/get this certain thing/etc. doesn't mean bad things are on their way. It doesn't mean your dreams won't come true and you'll be a failure. The universe isn't saying, "Oh, Cassandra just thought something bad, so that's exactly what she's going to get."

Self-love is allowing all thoughts to flow through us. There's no way we can always think positively. It's just not humanly possible. But when we're told that we can't manifest our dreams if we allow negative thoughts into our minds, then we feel like we've failed when it happens. We feel like we're not good enough or that we're not capable of being a positive person.

There will be times when you feel sad or angry, times of challenge and hardship, and to think you have to dismiss the "bad" thoughts that might run through your head at those times is unhealthy. To practice true self-love (and when you love yourself you're in a position to manifest dreams) you must allow all thoughts to run through you.

Think of yourself as a river and the negative thoughts are pieces of driftwood floating down the river of your mind. They'll come and they'll go. As long as you don't sit on the log of despair and ride it into eternity, you're absolutely okay.

Self-love is acknowledging and honoring all parts of yourself. You are a holy human and being such means you'll express all kinds of feelings and thoughts. You simply cannot go through life expecting to be positive all the time.

So please stop fearing for your life, dear one. Stop fearing that occasional negative thinking will be your downfall. Life won't crumble if you can't always be in a positive state of mind. All emotions are a part of living on this physical plane and all emotions are worth acknowledging.    
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Daydream Believer: How to Manifest Your Most Succulent Life in 3 Steps

1/18/2016

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This is YOUR year. This is the year big things happen. Magic happens. 

There might be challenges and bumps in the road, but this year your dreams will bloom into big, pink peonies and glitter-filled roses. Or maybe violets and daisies. Whatever suits your garden. :)

Yes, beautiful one, this is the year you put your dreams into action, make your heart's desires a top priority, and dive into that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You will see results, but you've gotta do a few things first. You've gotta get some things in order. 

First and foremost, commit these three words to heart, for they are the keys to manifesting your dreamiest, most succulent wild life.
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​    Dream Believe Do
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​These are the three pillars to manifestation. There are little steps to take in between (and I'll write about those in a separate post), but these are the big things you must remember. 

​~Dream

You've got to allow yourself to dream big and dream about everything. It doesn't have to make sense and you don't have to know how things will work. Impossible only means I'M POSSIBLE. There are no "nos" in dream land. What are your secret desires? What makes your cells buzz with excitement? How do you imagine living each day? What feels divine and juicy? Visualize it all. Think about it before hopping out of bed, meditate on it before going to sleep, write it down, draw it out. Allow yourself to dream and play and enjoy this step of the journey.

~Believe 


Believe before you receive. This is a crucial step. If you don't believe in what you want, how can you possibly receive it? How can anything become real if you don't believe that it could ever exist? Even "impossible" things can exist. Everything you see was once impossible to someone. And remember, the things you dream about may manifest in a most magical and unexpected way. Believe that it can happen one way or another.

~Do


You can't spend all your time dreaming. You must DO! You have to grab those dreams by the hand and jump. Wrangle the stars, circle the moon. If you really want it, you'll go after it. You'll make the time, set an action plan, one foot in front of the other. Small steps are absolutely okay. Just move, because movement is action and action makes things happen. If you don't know where to start, start anywhere! 

Go outside, say, "Miracle find me now!" and walk until you find that miracle. It could be anything: a flower growing through the cracks, a message whipping around on a flyer, a lost penny, a child singing a song. Just listen, look. Miracles and inspiration are all around. One little miracle can lead you to your next step and your next. 

​And finally...


Be yourself. Do your thing. Don't be afraid to live that wild dream of yours. You are here for a reason, even if that reason is just to enjoy life and inspire others to enjoy life. Nothing is too small and insignificant. And nothing is too big to achieve. ​
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Dump the Slump: 6 Tips to Help You Get Motivated

1/9/2016

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Dump the Slump: 6 Tips to Help You Get Motivated

​Like the moon and the ocean, many of us go through times of waxing and waning, ebbs and flows. One minute we're feeling ready to take on the world and the next we're crawling back under the covers to sleep away our indifference.

I was in a huge slump a few weeks ago, not feeling motivated to do anything. Not even the things I enjoy most. I didn't want to write or read or workout or hang out. I felt sooo sleepy and only wanted to take nap after nap. When I wasn't sleeping, I was spending mindless hours playing computer games.

Why do I feel like this? Where's my passion, my motivation?

I don't know why I fell into such a rut; perhaps it was just time for me to slow down or hormones or the season or what have you. Whatever the case, the slump passed and one day I woke up ready to take on the world again. Okay, maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but I got my motivation back and that was enough for me.

So what's a girl to do when she gets down in the dumps or falls into a rut? You could wait it out if you feel that's necessary, but if your lack of motivation lasts longer than you'd like it to, here are some simple tips to get your determination, motivation, and passion for life back. (p.s. If you feel you might be depressed, please see a doc!)
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1. Don't take yourself so seriously.

Sometimes a lack of motivation stems from our need to be perfect. If you have a project that you're working on or something you'd like to accomplish, but can't seem to find the motivation to start or finish it, it might be because you're afraid it won't be good enough. And if it's not good enough, no one will like it. And if no one likes it, you're a failure. 

But let's get real here. Let's say you accomplish your goal and it actually sucks and no one likes it. Will the world end? Will people stand around and mock you endlessly? Will you never ever produce anything good for the rest of your life? 

It's all a bit dramatic, isn't it? Honestly, life will go on, you'll go on, and you'll continue creating or doing whatever it is that you dream of doing because you like doing it. When you let yourself off the hook, even just a little, your goals will feel lighter and you'll be able to accomplish your thing with more happiness and less stress.

2. Set (very) small goals.

Pick one thing off your to-do/want to-do list and do it for five minutes. Seriously, set a timer and tell yourself you only have to do that one thing for five minutes, then you can go back to napping or binge watching Shameless. It's a win-win because you accomplish something and you might find that you want to continue said goal past the five minute mark. 

3. Ask for help, join a group, set deadlines.

I've been talking about writing (and finishing) a novel for months, but I never "got around" to it. I realized that what I needed was a group to keep me accountable. I needed deadlines and feedback, so I joined a writing workshop. Every week I had to turn in five pages, which was a small enough goal to accomplish and gave me the drive to do it knowing the pages would receive feedback. The workshop's over now, but I'm still working on the novel because during those 10 weeks I developed a writing habit and the discipline to continue. 

Perhaps joining a group would help you too. And if not a group, a friend to support you and keep you accountable. You can do the same in return and everybody wins!

4. Do something different.

Getting out of our comfort zones can shake up a rut. That might mean doing something as big as taking a road trip or as small as writing at a cafe instead of the bedroom. A change of scenery can work wonders and experiencing new things can invigorate your mind. So try a new restaurant, take a different route to work, plan a weekend trip to some place new, or check your local events for something intriguing. Shake up your routine!

5. Meditate

Sometimes what we really need is a few quiet moments to rest and reflect. Life is busy, loud, crowded, and full of to-do lists. It's no wonder we want to throw up our hands and say "Forget it!"

Take five or 10 minutes to yourself, close your eyes, and just sit there. Listen to a guided meditation, some soft music, or the sounds around you. Let your thoughts drift and your body relax. This is your moment. 

After a good meditation session I feel so refreshed. Give it a try and see if it makes a difference in your mood.

6. Don't beat yourself up.

Most importantly, don't beat yourself up for being "lazy" or "wasting time" or whatever negative things you tell yourself. These things happen. Life is up and down. Things come and go. It's a balance, really. When you find yourself void of motivation, take it easy, give yourself some slack, and remember that this too shall pass. Take each day as it comes and do what you can with what you have. Cliche or not, it's all true. Now give yourself a hug and step into the day. You've got this!
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    ​Hello! I'm Cassandra, an American ex-pat living in the Philippines, writer, ballerina, and lover of all things magickal. I blog about happiness, self-love, and magical dream-life living.
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