I've been self-employed for five days, FIVE DAYS, and the doubt demons have already circled around me and began chanting things like, "What have you done? Are you crazy? This is not going to work! You have failed miserably." They circle round and round and poke my ribs and laugh hysterically.
Just before I start to believe their nasty comments I am reminded that trust is an everyday thing. Like C.S. Lewis said, it has to begin all over again, every day.
The other night the doubt demons were having a raucous party and it left me weak and disappointed, so I asked God to shine a little light on the truth. I flipped open the Bible to John 8:23:
Jesus said, "You're tied down to the mundane; I'm in touch with what is beyond your horizons. You live in terms of what you see and touch. I'm living on other terms."
Now when I start losing my trust and getting that sinking feeling, I remind myself that I'm living on earthly terms, by what I can see, which isn't much. I remind myself to trust in that which I cannot see and know that God works on my behalf.
The earth is a tiny Christmas ornament hanging on the universal tree and yet, here we are, unbroken and living among chaos. Every day we must go to that place of trust, to that place of peace, even if we don't feel it. It's all working on our behalf.
I received a beautiful affirmation in Iyanla's Daily StimuMail today; I printed it out and hung it on my cork board to remind to trust:
There is One Life expressing the perfection of God.
God's perfection is present within me and everyone on this planet right now.
I know in my life there is something greater at hand and I call it God.
I trust God first because my mind cannot understand God's perfection when I see what is going on in the world.
I release my need to understand everything and I trust God!
When I cannot see the big picture and I am stuck, I put my faith in God.
I trust God instead of looking for easy solutions and answers because God knows what God is doing
I am in awe of your perfection in all life.
As I surrender and put my trust in God, my life unfolds according to God's perfect plan.
Thank you God for faith, love and clarity
I am so grateful that I am learning how to wait on the Lord.
God, You are so amazing, awesome and worthy to be praised.
God, I trust You with my heart and soul.
And So It Is.
Rev. Ayomide Bengo
How are you learning to trust?